


Liars and Rebels and Sneers, Oh My

by Willa Shakespeare (AnonEhouse)



Category: Blake's 7, Wizard Of Oz (1939)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Crossover, F/M, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-05-15
Packaged: 2017-12-11 23:39:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/804577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/Willa%20Shakespeare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Back in the day of the Adult B7 list, sometimes I'd be offered weird prompt challenges, because you know, they were nice to me that way. This one was a request for  Blake/Servalan/Gan story set in the gondola of a hot-air balloon and involving suggestively-shaped sugar cookies.</p><p>Of course the solution was OBVIOUS. :^) And fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Liars and Rebels and Sneers, Oh My

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

"That's the last of the sand-bags," Gan said, panting as he caught his breath after leaning over the side of the wicker basket to cut away the ballast.

"We'll never make Kansas!" Servalan said, nervously twisting her blue gingham dress in both hands. From somewhere around her feet Orac whimpered, "Oh, no, no, no, please don't make me interface with that witch again," and Servalan immediately bent down to lift the lid of a small picnic hamper. "Don't worry, Orac, I'm sure it will be all right. Blake is here and he'll protect us," she said soothingly, although her voice trembled.

"Yes, of course, I will," Blake said, looking for something productive to do. As there was a distinct lack of things to shoot or blow up in the immediate vicinity he fell back on his next favorite pastime. "Have a biscuit," he offered, reaching into the side of the hamper next to Orac for the box of 'Bits and Bobs'- sugary wafers shaped like sporting equipment according to the shifty-faced itinerant soma and biscuit vendor who sold them. Blake could see the cricket bat, but he wondered why it had *two* balls attached. Orac growled and snapped a spark at him. 

"YIPES!" Blake yelled, waving his hand as the straw that stuffed him caught fire. He jumped up and waved it, and that just made matters worse. Gan hastily opened their last bottle of fizzy water and spritzed Blake. The fire went out, but due to Blake's jumping around, there were now several large holes in the bottom of the basket, and it was tilted by Gan and Blake standing in the same corner. Servalan squealed as she slid towards a hole. 

Thinking quickly, Gan grabbed Blake and threw him down across the hole so that Servalan landed on top of him. "OW!" Blake complained, "I'm not made of wicker, you know!"

"And I'm not a wiz at this, either," Gan replied as he hastened to adjust the gas-bag. "Just lie there and be supportive, will you? It's your turn."

"Oh, all right," Blake said. He had been feeling a bit cross, but Servalan looked down at him and smiled, and said, "You look ever so much more comfortable than this old basket. Could I sit on you, please?" She batted her eyes at Blake and pushed the growling Orac-hamper out of the way.

Blake decided he could rise to the occasion. Servalan began to quite enjoy herself and when she'd knocked most of the stuffing out of Blake, Gan was persuaded to use his strength for structural purposes. He wasn't quite as fluffy as Blake, but Servalan thought it was only fair to sit on him as long as she had on Blake.

They were all running out of hot-air, though, and Servalan sadly observed the deflation process. "The ground is getting very close," Orac whined. "Oh, there's no place like dome, there's no place like dome," the little computer said, and it vanished in a twinkling of ruby-red lights just before they crashed.

Fortunately Blake was on the bottom, Gan on top of him, so Servalan was safely padded by both of the men, who had been pretty tired before the crash anyway, and she saw no need to wake them up after it. Instead she got up and crawled out of the basket. Something shiny was sticking out from under the basket, and thinking it might be something useful, like a Mark V blaster or a nice cool ice-dagger, or maybe a pair of diamond and pearl earrings that no one was using, she pulled on it. It made an unpleasant noise, but since she had been used to Orac, that didn't put her off a bit, and she pulled harder.

It was much bigger than she thought, and entirely uncooperative. Servalan spit on her hands, got a really good grip and YANKED. And fell on her bottom, with something large and heavy on top of her. After she got her breath back, she pushed it off. She clapped her hands with glee. It was the prettiest, shiniest toy she'd ever seen.

"Ub-i-an," the toy said, and it looked very annoyed until Servalan remembered the jug of lubricant that her fairy godfather had told her always to keep handy, and she oiled him, very thoroughly. Everywhere. Then she played with him to make sure he was in good working order.

Eventually, Gan looked over the edge of the basket. "I'm sorry, Servalan. I don't think we will get to Kansas."

Servalan looked down at her Tin Avon, who _didn't_ deflate, no matter how long she played, and smiled. "That's all right, boys. I've decided I like it here."


End file.
